Thursday, January 8, 2009
{need to get this off my chest}
Today I took Cole to the park and someone asked me how I was feeling. I told her I was fine and then someone overheard her and said are you pregnant? I told her yes and she started laughing, then said what is this number 7, then she said I was crazy. Another mom their said their is no way I am having that many kids thats insane. I guess it just hurt my feelings a little bit because after that only one mom stayed to talk to me. I didn't know that having a 6th baby could cause so much fun for other people. I should have expected it I guess but I just wasn't ready to deal with it yet. This is one of the reasons why I wanted to wait to tell people. I don't say rude things to Moms that only have one or two children. I am not asking for hand outs, nor do I need help from people. I am my kids mom, I stay at home with them, I work in their classrooms, I go to all their activites, and I support them in whatever way I can. I just don't understand why it bothers other people (mostly moms) so much. So what if I have a big family, I am thankful for everyone of my kids they are the best gifts I have ever received and that includes Garrett too. I just wish that if people have unkind things to say say it when I am not around!
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33 comments:
Letti, you are the kind of person who should have a million kids because you are such a good mom! Seriously, rock on! You make everything you do look so easy. I'm so happy for you. You guys make such cute kids. I miss you guys!
Letti, I agree with Michelle. You are an awesome mom and you know what you can handle...that's all that matters. People are rude and that's a fact we have to live with. I wish I was the kind of person that could have 6 kids, I mean handle 6 kids. You do rock!!
My mom had 5 kids and we heard it all the time. I guess that's why I am so content with 2. I think it can be hurtful to hear people say those things. On the other hand, I always hear "Is that it for you?" or 'Are you done?" I think that's pretty rude too, but I have to admit, I say it now too because I am so used to hearing it. Thanks for reminding us to mind our manners.
Well, this happens to be a petpieve of mine . . . people being judgemental about how many kids one person has over another. I am sorry that this happened today. I am seriously so happy for you. You are one of the most amazing Moms I know. I really do look to you for advise and wisdom because I love how you handle your children and how your children act and the kind of person you are. I hope to have a larger family one day too and even though at times it seems overwhelming to have 2 going on 3 I look at you and seriously it doesn't seem so daunting. It doesn't even feel like you have a "large" family. I come from a family of 6 kids and you would be shocked at the comments my Mom got when she had my last sister. But, I am so so SO grateful my Mom had all 6 of us!
The nerve of that mom!! Some people can be so rude. You just have a bigger heart than the both of 'em. I think it's great that you are adding to your wonderful family and if we had the means, I would go for #4!
I agree with everyone who commented before me. You are a wonderful mom. Be proud that you have six kids. You kids are all so well behaved and you can afford them. I love you Letti and ALL of your little munchkins too.
we say keep having kids so we keep getting hand-me-downs
You are a great mom, dont let them get you down.
If you want 6 or 60 kids and can financialy take care of them then good for you...they are only making comments like that becasue they are insecure about the kind of mom they are to only 1 or 2 kids. Good luck to you, I know you already have your hands full, but its not like you don't know what you are doing!
Hey Lettie -
If I had your phone # , I'd call you and tell you this but I feel really bad for even bringing up the topic at the park today - I didnt know that is what would happen! I am SO sorry if thats how it made you feel!
I can honestly say you are one of the most awesome moms I know and I totally look up to you in all you have accomplished in being a mom.
I feel completely responsible and I feel horrible that the conversation even took place.
Seriously if I was half as amazing as you are I would be so grateful
btw Sorry - it was me who deleted that comment too ... I wanted to add more to it!
i get the same type of question letti, except not about the # of kids I have (if my doctor hadn't told me Johnny was my last one or I would die... I would have had 2 more kids for a total of 5) but the fact that I have 3 sons.
I get... "Ohhh, you have three boys... how awful... you must have been trying for that girl"
As if the only reason to have children is to get a certain gender!
Here's a new one I get lately...
"It must be lonely being the only girl in the house... bet you wish you had a girl... huh?"
What IS THAT! I wanted 5 sons. Always have. If I had had girls... so what! I would have had girls... but some women thinks it's terrible to go through life without a daughter...
I don't miss what I never had... and quite frankly it's none of anyone business what, who, how many, or how you have your kids.
Rowdy Family... if you want boy clothes... come two doors down... I just cleaned out the closets!
Oh man... she reads your blog dudette!
I'm glad you posted it anyway... time educate people on simple
conversation 101
You are one strong Mama. That is for sure. I could never have 5 or more kids. I am going to crazy with me one. Some people just react differnt and dont know how to react. So instead of saying NOTHING they have to open their mouths and say something rude. Don't take it to heart, People are ignorant. You know in your heart of hearts that you are a great mom and have a wonderful family. You are blessing the world with good people. Heck look at Jon& Kate +8. I wonder what kind of comments they get at the park.
letti,
as much as it should not matter, what people say to us can and does hurt. they might not have meant it to sound as mean and stupid as it did. it sounds like they were saying outloud what they were thinking...tht they were jealous that they can not handle a couple of kids and you are such an awesome mom and a lucky wife that you are able to have as many kids as you and darian want. you are a great mom and from what i have heard and seen of darian, he is a good dad. try hard to keep the negativity away and stay positive. there is too much chaos in this world as it is, your baby and family need peace and love.
luv,
marianne
ps..i almost forgot...CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! i am very very happy for you. can't wait to see you in february.
What I think is inspiring is that you know that family is one of the most important blessings we have. So many other people are so concerned with what possessions they can give their children and they don't know how to love others besides themselves. Even though I only know you through the blogosphere, I think you are an incredible mom and so excited for your addition. Large families rock!!!
awe--the only reason people say things like that is to take attention off of themselves and the fact that they aren't "secure" or "confident" enough in their parenting that they could not handle more than they have... and defiantly not 5 or 6. It takes an amazing woman, such as yourself, to carry on the tasks of a mother, and do a phenomenal job at it to 6 children. You need to come up with a comeback! Like say: "Ya, I guess I'm one of the stronger women." or "Ya, bringing another child into our family is a lot better than making up excuses why we can't or shouldn't." .... i'm not good at comeback...but you should think about using one! I say PROPS to you guys. You are such good examples to the rest of us. Hang in there. Stick your tongue out at the mean people! Know that your new baby growing inside of you is one lucky little dude or dudette! (can't wait to find out!)
Oh Collette, I'm sorry you had a rough afternoon with mean Mommies at the park. You're a great Mommy. And this baby is lucky to be coming into such a great family with loving parents. Remember that!
WHAT?!?!?! That was completely rude!! I'm sorry you had to deal with that! If you want me to come beat someone up..I'll be more than happy to! :)
When I FINALLY figured out what was going on, I called Neil and told him the news. He was SO suprised - just like me. Later when he came home from work he kept talking about it. He kept telling me how happy he was that you were pregnant! And he kept talking about it. I have never seen him like this - definatly hasn't been that happy when I was the one that was pregnant! ;) We are both so happy for you!
I was all ready to post something supportive...and everyone else beat me to it! :)
There is such a thing as a mom having too many kids. There are moms who can't afford it, in time and money and patience.
Fortunately for your little (and not so little) ones, you have enough mommy in you to go around. Everyone of your kids is blessed to have you! Congrats on the newest addition. Happy baking.
Hey is that where are they hand me downs are going?! aw man! shoulda stayed in california :) heehee
Letti I think it's wonderful!!! Congrats!!!
Hi there~ I have never commented on someones blog before, but I felt the need to share a favorite quote of mine that has helped me through alot:
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent"~ Eleanor Roosevelt.
Children are a blessing from God and if you want to have 6 or maybe 10....then do:) Have a blessed day and a healthy pregnancy.
Letti, I say good for you, here I am and can't have any kids, so I think it is WONDERFUL when I see mom's who are willing to sacrifice SO much to have more children. It brings a smile to my face! I think the main reason some mom's have a problem with it is they don't feel self confident with their own mothering abilities and very well could not raise 6 amazing and succesful children, so it's their own "mothering insecurities" that makes them lash out towards others. You are incredible, so don't let any crazy unfriendly mom make you feel otherwise!
Congratulations, Letti! I have 4 sisters and 2 brothers and my siblings are my BEST friends.
Everyone has their opinion, but you know what is right for your family. And that is all that matters.
Lots and lots of love to you!
Chrissie
Like I said tonight I think it's awesome. I always wished I came from a bigger family and wish I had a big family like the Bowlers. Look at how close you all are. It's seriously amazing. You know you wouldn't be getting reactions like this several years ago when big families were so common. Please don't let it get you down. Be proud. I'm sure your kids are so excited and in 20 years they will be thanking you! I'm jealous you have a big family I think it's fabulous!!! LUCKY!!!
You have a lot of support here for you letti. 20+ people just let you know it too. Hold your head up high, and be the awesome person you are.
OK - from one awesome MOM to another =) just let it roll. Yep we will always come across those people who can be so insensitive and will put mouth into motion before putting brain in gear, so, again I say "LET IT ROLL". Don't let this ruin such a wonderful time in your life. As Justin's momma, I get those people who ask why I just don't send him off to some "CARE HOME" so that someone else can take care of his needs. WHO ON THIS EARTH IS GOING TO PROVIDE MY SON WITH THE LOVE OF A MOMMY AND FAMILY, UNDERSTANDING, PATIENCE AND CARE???!!!!!!!!!!!
We are who we are, we do what we do because that is what works for us. Imagine if we were all the same
I just want to add that you are an incredible individual, like everyone else has already said, "You are an awesome mother!!" And, what you are doing is the MOST important job on earth. My mom always said to her kids, you are my greatest accomplishment. Thinking of you!
That's awful! I can't believe you had to hear that. I don't understand people who have the nerve to actually say things like that. I am proud of you for wanting a big family. You're heart is exactly where it should be and you are doing the most important job there is - being a wonderful Mom!! :)
I love John and Kate and recently read their book. Kate said it was the loneliest time for her when she would go to pick up the twins at school because no one would talk to her when she was in line. She felt like a freak because people wouldn't talk to her. I am so envious when I watch the shows about the larger families because I truly think they show more unity, compassion and appreciation for each other and all they have. You expect kids to be missing that internal filter to think things and not say them but we don't expect it from adults which is why it is so shocking when we hear it.
I guess we all speak before we think sometimes. I think that other post about having a good comeback is a good idea. If you think of one- let us know- cause I could use one too! Personally, I would love 6 kids!
Yeah!!! I'm so excited for you!!! If I didn't have to be pregnant each time I would probably have like 20 kids. You are such a wonderful Mom, and your kids are so cute...I think it's great and BIG families are the best :)
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